As children we all learn the little song “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me.” What rubbish! Words hurt, and gossip kills. It kills the soul.
Kevin A. Miller has shared nine great questions to ask yourself before you share information with others:
- Am I telling this to someone who can do something about the problem by helping the person or offering discipline or correction?
- If not, am I telling this to someone who is wise enough to help me sort out my feelings and courageous enough to make me do the right thing: to confront the person or to confess where I was at fault?
- Is this news approved for sharing?
- Am I breaking a confidence? If so, is it only because the person is endangering someone’s life, including his or her own?
- Am I willing to say from whom I got this information so the information can be checked for accuracy?
- When I say this, does it break my heart?
- Have I taken the time to examine my life and confess to God how I also sin like that?
- Am I praying for the person?
- Would I feel comfortable if someone were saying this about me?
What questions would you add to this list?
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“With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be” (James 3:9-10).
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By: Brian Tracy
You may have a thousand different goals over the course of your lifetime, but they all will fall into one of four basic categories. Everything you do is an attempt to enhance the quality of your life in one or more of these areas.
The Key to Happiness
The first category is your desire for happy relationships. You want to love and be loved by others. You want to have a happy, harmonious home life. You want to get along well with the people around you, and you want to earn the respect of the people you respect. Your involvement in social and community affairs results from your desire to have happy interactions with others and to make a contribution to the society you live in.
Enjoy Your Work
The second category is your desire for interesting and challenging work. You want to make a good living, of course, but more than that, you want to really enjoy your occupation or profession. The very best times of your life are when you are completely absorbed in your work.
Become Financially Independent
The third category is your desire for financial independence. You want to be free from worries about money. You want to have enough money in the bank so that you can make decisions without counting your pennies. You want to achieve a certain financial state so that you can retire in comfort and never have to be concerned about whether or not you have enough money to support your lifestyle. Financial independence frees you from poverty and a need to depend upon others for your livelihood. If you save and invest regularly throughout your working life, you will eventually reach the point where you will never have to work again.
Enjoy Excellent Health
The fourth and final category is your desire for good health, to be free of pain and illness and to have a continuous flow of energy and feelings of well-being. In fact, your health is so central to your life that you take it for granted until something happens to disrupt it.
Peace of Mind is the Key
Peace of mind is essential for every one of these. The greater your peace of mind, the more relaxed and positive you are, the less stress you suffer, the better is your overall health.
The more peace of mind you have, the better are your relationships, the more optimistic, friendly and confident you are with everyone in your life. When you feel good about yourself on the inside, you do your work better and take more pride in it. You are a better boss and coworker. And the greater your overall peace of mind, the more likely you are to earn a good living, save regularly for the future and ultimately achieve financial independence.
Control Your Attention
Life is very much a study of attention. Whatever you dwell upon and think about grows and expands in your life. The more you pay attention to your relationships, the quality and quantity of your work, your finances and your health, the better they will become and the happier you will be.
Action Exercises
Here are three things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.
First, take time on a regular basis to think about what would make you really happy in each of the four areas.
Second, set specific, measurable goals for improvement in your relationships, your health, your work and your finances and write them down.
Third, resolve to do something every day to increase the quality of some area of your life – and then keep your resolution.
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Advice for setting and keeping your New Year resolutions . . .
“Nothing so conclusively proves a man’s ability to lead others as what he does from day to day to lead himself.”
~ Thomas J. Watson Sr.
First date in decades? He’s 40 and lives with Mom? Matchmaker Patti Novak points out such dating “red flags” from her and Laura Zigman’s straight talk book on finding how to find love, GET OVER YOURSELF.
“I was taught to strive not because there were any guarantees of success, but because the act of striving is in itself the only way to keep faith with life.”
~ Madeleine Albright, Secretary of State
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Relationships don’t come easy, but too much bad advice does. Frequently, there is too much emphasis placed upon confrontation and negotiation in the counsel given. Looking for Biblical counsel on how to resolve conflicts? Consider this approach commended throughout Scripture:
“A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense” (Prov. 19:11; cf. 12:16; 15:18; 20:3).
“Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out” (Prov. 17:14; cf. 26:17).
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8; cf. Prov. 10:12; 17:9)
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love” (Eph. 4:2).
“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Col. 3:13; cf. Eph. 4:32).
The above passages were taken from The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal ConflictThe Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict by Ken Sande, Updated Edition (Grand Rapids, Baker Books, 2003) p. 82.
Men are NOT mind readers.
Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
Sunday sports — It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
Crying is blackmail.
Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really.
Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.
You have enough clothes.
You have too many shoes.
I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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“A happy family is but an earlier heaven.”
– George Bernard Shaw, Playwright
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