“I always remember an epitaph in the cemetery at Tombstone, Ariz. It says: “Here lies Jack Williams. He done his damnedest.” I think that’s the greatest epitaph a man can have.”
– Harry Truman, 33rd President of the United States

__________

“Outstanding leaders go out of their way to boost the self-esteem of their personnel. If people believe in themselves, it’s amazing what they can accomplish. “
– Sam Walton, Founder of Wal-Mart and Sam’s Club

__________

Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired, and Mrs. Fenton insists her husband go with her to Walmart. He gets so bored with all the shopping trips. He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton gets this letter from Wal-Mart:

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below.

Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was shopping in Wal-Mart:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they weren’t looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies rest rooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, ‘Code 3′ in house wares….. and watched what happened.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M’s on layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he’d invite them in if they’ll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks,
‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the “Mission Impossible” theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his “Madonna look” using different size funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled “PICK ME!” “PICK ME!”

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams “NO! NO! It’s those voices again!!!!”

And last, but not least…

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, “There is no toilet paper in here!”

“If money is your hope for independence, you will never have it. The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience and ability. “
– Henry Ford

__________

“Tears will get you sympathy. Sweat will get you results.”
– Anonymous

__________

“A pound of pluck is worth a ton of luck.”
– James Garfield, 20th President of the United States

__________

If you could do something very daring without fear, what would you do?

(Share your answers in the comments below.)

If you could do something very daring without fear, what would you do?

(Share your answers in the comments below.)

“Talent made a poor appearance. Until he married Perseverance.”
– Arthur Guiterman, Editor and Poet

__________

“If Columbus had turned back, no one would have blamed him. No one would have remembered him, either.”
~ Anonymous

__________